And I am not very excited about it… Imagine opening up the newspaper when you get up at 11 in the morning (yes MORNING) and reading such a headline.. It turns out chairman of some committee, Mr. R Waikar has put up a proposal that says BMC will start buying all your crap from you. BMC will pay Twenty Five paise per kilo of the kachra collected from you .. “All this to try and stop you from dumping the waste carelessly and thus dirtying the city” .. All through my breakfast I was thinking about what will be the consequences if people started trading their crap .. Here are some of my pennyless thoughts .. :
1: Yelp! Someone stole my crap ! : Imagine people going to Police Station for complaining that someone has stolen their litter box .. “It was about seven kilo in weight and smelled pretty bad .. It was in a black plastic bag ” .. “Btw .. What are you hiding ??? That looks like my piece of crap !!” .. To which the policewallah will sheepishly tell the man that this was his own crap collected from a rave party at his home last night …
2: Everything is crap … ! : People will start selling everything they have no use to BMC .. People will start bringing work to their homes and sell them to BMC babus in the morning .. I can almost imagine little Chunnu proudly telling his mother “Ma .. I earned twelve rupees today by selling my school bag ! “…
3: My crap is better than yours ! : People will start competing in the quality of their crap .. Those selling big packets of kachra will have more recognition (they are keeping the city cleaner) .. Saas bahus will gossip about how much crap their next door neighbor is collecting these days ..
4: A new breed of entrepreneurs : Soon a new surname will join the Cablewallah, Tyrewallahs .. : Kachrawallah .. People will start importing and exporting kachra from Bombay .. Boy ! Thats a nice new opening ..!
5: A new source of income : You’ll have to declare how much you earn from selling your kachra .. It will be added under the head Income from other sources in your Saral form ..Govt will start taxing those who sells too much kachra .. !
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I have some more world destructive ideas in my head but I dont want to voice them .. See I am in a very crappy mood right now .. Where the crap is my litter box .. I need to weigh it ..