And I am not very excited about it… Imagine opening up the newspaper when you get up at 11 in the morning (yes MORNING) and reading such a headline.. It turns out chairman of some committee, Mr. R Waikar has put up a proposal that says BMC will start buying all your crap from you. BMC will pay Twenty Five paise per kilo of the kachra collected from you .. “All this to try and stop you from dumping the waste carelessly and thus dirtying the city” .. All through my breakfast I was thinking about what will be the consequences if people started trading their crap .. Here are some of my pennyless thoughts .. :
1: Yelp! Someone stole my crap ! : Imagine people going to Police Station for complaining that someone has stolen their litter box .. “It was about seven kilo in weight and smelled pretty bad .. It was in a black plastic bag ” .. “Btw .. What are you hiding ??? That looks like my piece of crap !!” .. To which the policewallah will sheepishly tell the man that this was his own crap collected from a rave party at his home last night …
2: Everything is crap … ! : People will start selling everything they have no use to BMC .. People will start bringing work to their homes and sell them to BMC babus in the morning .. I can almost imagine little Chunnu proudly telling his mother “Ma .. I earned twelve rupees today by selling my school bag ! “…
3: My crap is better than yours ! : People will start competing in the quality of their crap .. Those selling big packets of kachra will have more recognition (they are keeping the city cleaner) .. Saas bahus will gossip about how much crap their next door neighbor is collecting these days ..
4: A new breed of entrepreneurs : Soon a new surname will join the Cablewallah, Tyrewallahs .. : Kachrawallah .. People will start importing and exporting kachra from Bombay .. Boy ! Thats a nice new opening ..!
5: A new source of income : You’ll have to declare how much you earn from selling your kachra .. It will be added under the head Income from other sources in your Saral form ..Govt will start taxing those who sells too much kachra .. !
… … …….
I have some more world destructive ideas in my head but I dont want to voice them .. See I am in a very crappy mood right now .. Where the crap is my litter box .. I need to weigh it ..
It was giving signs all day long .. and by the time I reached office, it started pouring .. No matter.. I said to myself . .. it will be over soon .. I didnt know.
Time to get back to home .. My boss has already left and people who came late brought equipments to deal with the rains .. I didnt have rain coat . .. nor umbrella .. Umbrella is pointless though as you cant use it while you drive .. At around nine in the night, the rain’s intensity looks diminishing … it will be over soon .. I said to myself yet again … I didnt know ..
At around ten in the night, I decide to take the plunge .. Those are little droplets, I’ll reach home in no time .. So I try my luck at praying .. “Oh God .. Please stop the rain for just five minutes ..” and starts from my office.. No luck .. it kept raining .. and after only a minute of drive, I stop at a chai dhaba .. I’ll wait here and soon it will be over .. So drinking hot chai and watching water leaking from all corners of the dhaba shade .. and listening to Lata Mangeshkar “Chalte chalte yunhi koi mil gaya tha” on the radio .. Welcome change from Atif Aslam whom I am listening to very much these days .. All this environment makes me nostalgic .. So I brace myself again and start again towards my home …
At first I close my eyes when the rain drops hits my face .. then I began to enjoy the feeling .. I’ve always loved rains but after I spending my last year in Mumbai’s rain, all the romance was lost .. Anyway .. earlier I was driving fast .. then I started driving slow .. there is nothing that can match driving in rains .. Raindrops entering your eyes ..dodging the splash of water / mud from the car you are trying to over take .. hitting brakes too hard .. singing (yelling) on the top of your voice .. How come rains make people crazy …?
I am shivering when I reach the building .. Smiled when I see neighbor girl giggling at me .. Warm my frozen hands on the gas burner for at least five minutes (or was it ten ) .. Check my phone line .. whoa its not dead .. check the internet connection .. whoa .. its up too .. Great …!! Listen to November Rain for some five times .. writing this post and watching rain drops from the window .. ..
Its official raining in Bombay …
Warning: This post can be a monologue. ..
The opening lines of every post are the most difficult ones to think .. How to write something that the reader will find interesting and captures the theme of the entry .. ? Well .. For this particular post, I couldnt think of any such opening so here it goes ..
It all started a year ago when I arrived in this city of dreams called Bombay ( I still call it Bombay) with many dreams and even more hopes in my heart… It was raining heavily and I was all wet when I somehow managed to find out the SBI guest house (where my friend Nisheet had already booked a room) .. We chatted about how our next day which was going to be our reporting to the job was going to be and how life would be after that ..
The next day was even more interesting .. We found out that we’ll be posted for the rest of our service in Bombay itself (or if you are lucky you’ll get a foreign posting afterwards .. ) .. We were allotted departments and roles… We had our first lunch in the Officer’s mess (why is it called Officer’s Mess ? ) and then went to our respective departments for introductions and all .. I still remember one of my senior told us “Now with what qualifications or experience you have come with doesnt matter ..What you can give to the bank will matter the most .. ” I still believe in those words .. Anyway .. too many things happened in the first day and I cant write all of them here .. We were given temporary accomodation in guest house till our flats were ready .. (Getting listed in guest house was another great experience) ..
So .. I moved into a new room in guest house and it turned out it was to be shared with three more guys .. Three guys literally from three corners of India .. Man those guest house days were some very well spent days of my life .. As I stroll down memory lane, I remember listening to FM and chatting till late night .. Learning Malayalam .. or Manipuri .. 😀 .. Having dinner together .. Racing in morning to get the bathroom .. Getting others late for office ..:D .. Sleeping in boring training sessions .. Waiting for the rains to stop which poured as if its the end of world ..
Earlier days were spent in shock and awe .. Being so far from family and friends was a new experience for me (and a very tough one).. Slowly official work started to fill this void. .. Earlier it was feeling important .. than feeling responsible .. sometimes feeling exhausted .. Then I got my first salary .. Earning money was not a new thing for me but now I had to manage my living all by myself .. Seems I am doing pretty good … A major part of our salary used to goto mobile bills .. And eating those horrible food at mess .. And as you are expected to work at office, chat protocols were blocked and most timepass websites were also blocked .. So that ended my Orkut addiction .. Finding out proxy sites to bypass the restrictions and finding out new new ways to access blocked site .. It was nice experimenting with our newly found independence ..
So this year brought many ups and downs in my life .. It highlights again that life is a constant learning process .. and I am still learning .. and I am still coping .. I’ve made so many friends here and who made living here all alone a bit easier for me .. Thanks to everyone just for being there for me ..