What the heck – Shahab's Space

Whoaa ..! This is a mail I got from one of the banking news lists I subscribe to .. And if what it say is true then ICICI bank has really gone mad. Here’s the content of mail goes :

Dear All,

Be ready to lose money from July 01,2007:

ICICI bank is going mad from July 01, 2007. It has hiked the service charges applicable to all type of transactions ………

ICICI Customer Care has confirmed that these charges are applicable to Salary Accounts also !!!!!!!!!! See the attachment for more details.

Examples :

1. Debit card usage : Rs.99/- service charges per annum for holding the debit card.

2. Cash Deposit : For cash deposit at non-base branch a minimum of Rs.150/-per deposit will be cut.

3. ATM usage : Only 6 transactions are free in a quarter. After that, Rs.15/- per transaction.

4. Monthly statements by courier : Rs.200/- per annum.

5. SMS alerts : Free for first 6 months from the date of registration. Subsequently Rs.25/- per quarter.

6. Rs. 100 per Standing Instruction

Are they really sure they wanna do this ..?? Only 6 ATM transactions per quarter ?? that comes to 2 per month .. Hahahaa .. Even my dhobi goes to ATM more than that .. Rs. 100 per standing instruction ?? OMG .. You take a loan from ICICI bank and make Standing Instructions in your current or savings account for payment of EI and they will charge you for that .. What a piece of crap ..!!

I’ve uploaded the full charges document that came with this mail here. Go through it and find a better bank ..

And I am not very excited about it… Imagine opening up the newspaper when you get up at 11 in the morning (yes MORNING) and reading such a headline.. It turns out chairman of some committee, Mr. R Waikar has put up a proposal that says BMC will start buying all your crap from you. BMC will pay Twenty Five paise per kilo of the kachra collected from you .. “All this to try and stop you from dumping the waste carelessly and thus dirtying the city” .. All through my breakfast I was thinking about what will be the consequences if people started trading their crap .. Here are some of my pennyless thoughts .. :

1: Yelp! Someone stole my crap ! : Imagine people going to Police Station for complaining that someone has stolen their litter box .. “It was about seven kilo in weight and smelled pretty bad .. It was in a black plastic bag ” .. “Btw .. What are you hiding ??? That looks like my piece of crap !!” .. To which the policewallah will sheepishly tell the man that this was his own crap collected from a rave party at his home last night …

2: Everything is crap … ! : People will start selling everything they have no use to BMC .. People will start bringing work to their homes and sell them to BMC babus in the morning .. I can almost imagine little Chunnu proudly telling his mother “Ma .. I earned twelve rupees today by selling my school bag ! “…

3: My crap is better than yours ! : People will start competing in the quality of their crap .. Those selling big packets of kachra will have more recognition (they are keeping the city cleaner) .. Saas bahus will gossip about how much crap their next door neighbor is collecting these days ..

4: A new breed of entrepreneurs : Soon a new surname will join the Cablewallah, Tyrewallahs .. : Kachrawallah .. People will start importing and exporting kachra from Bombay .. Boy ! Thats a nice new opening ..!

5: A new source of income : You’ll have to declare how much you earn from selling your kachra .. It will be added under the head Income from other sources in your Saral form ..Govt will start taxing those who sells too much kachra .. !

… … …….

I have some more world destructive ideas in my head but I dont want to voice them .. See I am in a very crappy mood right now .. Where the crap is my litter box .. I need to weigh it ..

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Tag: What the heck

ICICI Bank gone mad ?

New way to earn from home : Sell your crap ..!