Growing Up …

      For most people, growing up is synonymous to getting older. But after living for almost a quarter of century, I look upon my life and realize its much more than just getting older.. Its about getting more experience, getting more ideas , its about getting mature (I seem to hit upon the exact word ) ..

      So here I am, with my life before me … So much time seems to have passed .. I have lived my life as it came .. played, laughed, cried, teased, run, fell, got up, hurt, got hurt, learned, unlearned , forgot , remembered .. I have done it all .. and I liked it … If I’d given chance to life again, I’ll still make the decisions I made, I’ll go from those paths that I went ..

      So what did I learn from all my life’s experiences ..? When I compare myself from what I was 10 years ago, I find many changes in myself … The most prominent one: becoming deliberate from being spontaneous .. Now I think before I act .. and I am no more impatient ..I am now more content then I was ten years ago .. and I am more aggressive .. Perhaps those are the signs of maturity … I now know that maturity isn’t something you’d gain just by being old .. You’ll have to interact… think .. feel … act .. I now know that world isn’t perfect — it was never meant to .. I don’t expect perfect outcomes now .. because if you become perfect, you wont have any chance to improve — which is imperfect in its own .. Over the years I feel becoming more self centered .. which I think is a by product of maturity – or vice versa .. Here too I am talking about myself from the start .. I now feel more confident in being honest about things I feel .. which is a nice thing as I have said everything about myself without any hesitation and without any lie .. Over the years I have seen people’s expectations from me growing .. sometimes I find it choking me .. sometimes I find it very stimulating … I have learned that if you fear something it will keep you haunting for ever .. and if you face it firmly you will conquer it .. .. Be it a memory of someone

      I stopped celebrating my birthday long ago as I don’t see the logic in people congratulating you on something to which you have no credit .. I’ve been very less emotional from start and I feel birthdays are just like other days .. But I still love the surprise feeling of answering some long lost friends’ call .. Hey .. thats the reason I remember all my friend’s birthdays .. 🙂 ….I dont believe in making resolutions becuase I don’t need any resolution to do something …

      Hmm… I wanna end this monologue now .. So when I look at my 11 year old cousin who now dreams to become a pilot, I get reminded of myself … One can draw his inspiration from anywhere .. and thats why I believe that this is a continous process .. I have yet to see more .. and experience and explore …. Life is meant for learning .. and growing up .. these years will keep coming and going … what counts in the end is how you utilize the time alloted to you …

[Listening to:Why does it always rain on me by Travis]

Some good news !!

Ah .. At last my hard work seems to be paying off now.. All of that day long studying and practising has started giving results.. Hmm.. No more prefaces .. The news is I cleared SBI’s written examination ..And now I’lll be attending the Phase II of their selection ie GD and PI which they are conducting at IIM L …

The news brought both joy and panic for me .. As the paper went well I was assured of my success but there was a rumor that they have decreased the number of posts but still I had faith in my labor .. Panic came because I have now so less time to prepare for the GD and PI where I am sure I will face a stiff competition .. But still I am preparing for it as this has been my dream job and I will work hard to get it ..

That reminds me that the written exam was the toughest paper that I have given in my short career .. None of my batchmates or my Instructors (Yeah ..They too compete ) cleared it so there was nobody with whom I could celebrate but still .. Here I am .. And now I am preparing to face the ultimate challenge .. I have come this far .. I wont let my effort show any scarcity and I really mean it ..

So now .. I have to postpone my ongoing project at STDC (which is already running behind the schedule ) for the preparations .. I hope Majid Bhai will understand ..
Hmmm.. So .. I should get to the job as soon as I can ..

(This was written on 18th of March)

[Edit] As I type the above things, I come to know about two more people who have been selected. . There is one Pankaj Mishra who got his PI on 6th and the other one is his friend who got his date on the 5th of April.. Pankaj is already working in IOB so he’s not going for any preparations as he get no time apart from his job .. But still .. I do hope they will too excel in the exam .. Lets cee ..

Edited on 20th of March

I am back …!!

So after a two month exile from Net, I am back now.. Infact I was accessing the Net occasionally from cybercafes, there is no comparison with late night surfing and conferences.. Checking multiple email account was another trouble .. But this small break has changed a lot in my life .. I realised how much we have become dependent on the Net.. Be it sendig a file through the network or email someone this has become a routine in our lives… Anyways this break forced me to concentrate on other things too which was a sort of positive result ..

Many events happened in between.. I’ll post about them in future posts ..

Well .. this post was due for a week and I decided to post it at last today .. Hopefully I will be regular on the Blog now ..

(This post was typed on 12th of March .. But I was damn busy / forgetful to post it )