• My Newspaperwallah : Boy, I hate you already when you deliver the paper late (or not at all) but why do you effing have to announce that you’ve dropped the paper by ringing the doorbell ? I really hate getting up in morning to answer the bell to find there’s no soul outside .. My neighbors don’t steal newspaper if you must know …
• Kachrewali : (I don’t even know if she can even read Hindi / Marathi let alone English .. But for whatever its worth… ) … I don’t understand why do you think I generate enough crap everyday so that you can collect daily … I don’t understand why you look so disappointed when I tell you there’s nothing in the dust bin .. I don’t understand why you don’t show up when I DO put that dust bin in front of my door …
• “Ghar main paanch saal se kam ka bachcha hai kya?” waali’s: I really don’t understand why do you have to come and check every month to find out if I did get a baby miraculously when I already told you last month ..? I know some of you girls might wanna help but have I ever asked any of you “Come on inside and we’ll see what can be done about it” …
• Feedback wallahs : I only have this feedback : If I don’t use your service doesn’t it mean it sucks already .. and if I do use your service : Dude .. Do something about it … It sucks …
• Cablewallah : How come the only time that I get to know of your existence is when you come to collect the monthly bill and not when I complain about your pathetic set top box from hell on an average of ten times a month …?
• Telephonewallah: Well .. I don’t hate you that much anymore .. Not ever since when I fixed my telephone line myself and told you when you did show up on time .. And when I lodged the complain next time and you did show up (after a week) and said “Maine socha aapne khud hi theek kar liya hoga ab tak” … Grrr
• “Saamnewala ghar par hai kya?” wallahs : Moron … If he was home wouldn’t he answer your crappy banging-his-door-for-ten-minutes ..?? I really wonder if the saamnewala has to endure the same pain …
• “Papa ghar par hain kya ?” wallahs : Do I really look this young ..?? I really hate it people think its my dad who works in SBI and not me …
• Whoever comes knocking when I am shaving / taking bath / you know what …
• Towing wallahs : I remember we use to call them in Tonche wallahs … Though you people dont come to my home but added you to this list anyway … I really hate worrying about my ride when I’m shopping or visiting someone …

Hmmm… It looks this can go on and on … I am gonna take a print out of this page and stick it on my door and see if works …

PS: I really think I can start writing more often now … So keep bugging me if I dont blog often …

Once there was a little island country. The land of this country was the tiny island itself. The total money in circulation was 2 dollars as there were only two pieces of 1 dollar coins circulating around.

(1) There were 3 citizens living on this island country. A owned the land. B and C each owned 1 dollar.

(2) B decided to purchase the land from A for 1 dollar. So, now A and C own 1 dollar each while B ownes a piece of land that is worth 1 dollar.

* The net asset of the country now = 3 dollars.

(3) Now C thought that since there is only one piece of land in the country, and land is non producible asset, its value must definitely go up. So, he borrowed 1 dollar from A, and together with his own 1 dollar, he bought the land from B for 2 dollars.

* A has a loan to C of 1 dollar, so his net asset is 1 dollar.
* B sold his land and got 2 dollars, so his net asset is 2 dollars.
* C owned the piece of land worth 2 dollars but with his 1 dollar debt to A, his net residual asset is 1 dollar.
* Thus, the net asset of the country = 4 dollars.

(4) A saw that the land he once owned has risen in value. He regretted having sold it. Luckily, he has a 1 dollar loan to C. He then borrowed 2 dollars from B and acquired the land back from C for 3 dollars. The payment is by 2 dollars cash (which he borrowed) and cancellation of the 1 dollar loan to C. As a result, A now ownes a piece of land that is worth 3 dollars. But since he owes B 2 dollars, his net asset is 1 dollar.

* B loaned 2 dollars to A. So his net asset is 2 dollars.
* C now has the 2 coins. His net asset is also 2 dollars.
* The net asset of the country = 5 dollars. A bubble is building up.

* As a result, A has got his debt cleared and he got the 2 coins. His net asset is 2 dollars.
* B ownes a piece of land that is worth 4 dollars, but since he has a debt of 2 dollars with C, his net Asset is 2 dollars.
* C loaned 2 dollars to B, so his net asset is 2 dollars.

* The net asset of the country = 6 dollars; even though, the country has only one piece of land and 2 Dollars in circulation.

(6) Everybody has made money and everybody felt happy and prosperous.

(7) One day an evil wind blew, and an evil thought came to C‘s mind. “Hey, what if the land price stop going up, how could B repay my loan. There is only 2 dollars in circulation, and, I think after all the land that B owns is worth at most only 1 dollar, and no more.”

(8) A also thought the same way.

(9) Nobody wanted to buy land anymore.

* So, in the end, A owns the 2 dollar coins, his net asset is 2 dollars.
* B owes 2 dollars to C and the land he ownes which he thought worth 4 dollars is now 1 dollar. So his net asset is only 1 dollar.
* C has a loan of 2 dollars to B. But it is a bad debt. Although his net asset is still 2 dollars, his heart is palpitating.
* The net asset of the country = 3 dollars again.

(10) So, who has stolen the 3 dollars from the country? Of course, before the bubble burst B thought his land was worth 4 dollars. Actually, right before the collapse, the net asset of the country was 6 dollars on paper. B‘s net asset is still 2 dollars, his heart is palpitating.

* A owns the 2 coins; his net asset is 2 dollars.
* B is bankrupt; his net asset is 0 dollar. (He lost everything)
* C got no choice but end up with a land worth only 1 dollar

* the net asset of the country = 3 dollars.

—————End of the story; BUT—————

There is however a redistribution of wealth.
A is the winner, B is the loser, C is lucky that he is spared.
A few points worth noting -

(1) When a bubble is building up, the debt of individuals to one another in a country is also building up.
(2) This story of the island is a closed system whereby there is no other country and hence no foreign debt. The worth of the asset can only be calculated using the island’s own currency. Hence, there is no net loss.
(3) An over-damped system is assumed when the bubble burst, meaning the land’s value did not go down to below 1 dollar.
(4) When the bubble burst, the fellow with cash is the winner. The fellows having the land or extending loan to others are the losers. The asset could shrink or in worst case, they go bankrupt.
(5) If there is another citizen D either holding a dollar or another piece of land but refrains from taking part in the game, he will neither win nor lose. But he will see the value of his money or land goes up and down like a see saw.
(6) When the bubble was in the growing phase, everybody made money.
(7) If you are smart and know that you are living in a growing bubble, it is worthwhile to borrow money (like A) and take part in the game. But you must know when you should change everything back to cash.
(8) As in the case of land, the above phenomenon applies to stocks as well.
(9) The actual worth of land or stocks depends largely on psychology (or speculation)

So I am remembering the unusually rainy day when I arrived this place dreamy eyed two years ago. As I’ve already blogged about my adventures in the year to follow, I’ve decided to recall and post some incidents that happened this year ..

So here are some notable incidents that happened this year :

• Being scolded for coming late : Hahhaaa .. Man .. I tried defending my case by saying I stay late at office but my DGM says “Officers are on 24 hour on duty ” .. Someone tell him insomniacs cant reach office at seven .. They SLEEP at seven ..
• SBI winning over TCS : So this was the first year that SBI turned the table and won more matches in this season. We in fact won a tourament too this time ( I wasnt playing though and it was NOT the cause we won ) .. My performance was just so so this season .. But I’m playing well in our local matches ..
• I cleared JAAIB : Hahaahaha .. Thats not the news .. News is while I was taking this CAIIB exam, I was warned by the invigilator not to create a ruckus in classroom. He took my admit card and ID card away and I’ve no idea if he had reported me to IIBF .. If he’s done that my chances of being a CAIIB this year are gone .. I hope IIBF dont ban me or something … (
• The adventures of visiting card : Well .. If you carry your visiting cards in your wallet, check them daily .. If you dont distribute them too often, they’ll stick to each other .. And you’ll be embarrased when you’ll give one to someone .. So once in a blue moon I am talking to this hot girl (married already … and I didnt know that ) .. And I decided to show off and give her my visiting card .. Man .. Those cards were stuck to each other and one of them was stuck to my driving license .. It was a funny situation ..
• [Identity Protected] posted a transaction in Live environment : Hahaa .. So it goes like this .. We were assigned to train our newly joined officers .. One of my -close- friend wanted to test whatever he was gonna teach these guys .. So he posted a demand draft transaction .. Catch ? It was in the Live environment instead of test environment he was using earlier .. And funnier was what followed .. We were experimenting with menu options on how to reverse that transaction on Live again ..
• Where are the holidays ..??: Man .. If anything suck about working in Foreign Offices department is that on any given day or time at least one of our offices will be functioning .. So you wont get a lot of holidays to enjoy .. In fact last time I wanted to take leave for going home, my administrator wasnt very keen of giving me a week’s off .. Fortunately my DGM took my side and granted me with this comment to my Admin :  ”Dekhiye _______ ji .. Hum log to ho gaye hain buddhe .. Humain office ke alaawa kuch dikhayi nahi deta hai .. But these young people still have something else in their lives .. Let them enjoy it .. “ 
• I got a passport : Boy .. That was one tough task .. After applying online, you have to goto passport office for submitting and verifying your documents .. That guy wasted my two days ( during MY office hours ) .. Then came the police verification stage .. So I have to visit this police station where our “enlightened” policewalla will ultimately sign the documents .. So for waiting for what seemed like an eternity, ( I remember there was a power cut in police station and it was freaking hot that day ) we were herded to inspector’s room. He checks everyone’s face and sign the document asking him some regular questions .. When my number comes he asks me “Tumcha gaanv kuthe aahe ?” Though flustered on this sudden marathi outcome, I answer him .. He checks my papers and say “Abhi ek saal bhi nahi hua idher rehte aur passport banane aa gaye ..” And tell his assistant to check me again .. Sigh .. The assistant is a nice guy .. He tells me to come next week .. So I come again next week and after another waiting for four five hours, I am again in this Inspector’s room .. He’s doing the same procedure .. My turn comes and he asks me “Tumcha gaanv kuthe aahe ? ” I wonder wtf .. He didnt ask this question to anyone .. and he didnt speak to anyone in Marathi .. why me …?? And he asks me the same questions he asked last time .. And then he remembers me and ask me “Aap pehle bhi aaye they kya ? ” I tell him yes I came earlier too .. Here the assistant comes to my rescue saying sir we have checked everything about him .. The inspector isnt gonna sign this time too .. But our assistant is adamant .. He shows the file again and uttered the magical words :  ”Sir yeh SBI main kaam karte hain !!” .. And I get a new passport .. I didnt know working in SBI was a character certificate .. .. And yeah I am waiting for getting some new stamps on my passport ..
• Lying over the phone : So one of my colleagues in Singapore calls and ask for me .. And I am the one who picked up the phone .. .. I was sooo busy with some other stuff that I forgot his work .. So I tell him ” Shahab didnt come today .. He’s sick ” .. .. Man .. He believed me and then I recieve an sms on my phone for get well soon ..
• Some misadventures of locked up key : This happened twice (or thrice ) this time .. One of the time, I come out of my room with my bike keys and forgets my wallet ( I keep my key in my wallet … Silly me ) .. So bhai goes for shopping and then when its time to pay the shopkeeper, I find out that I have no money .. Well thats the least of my worries .. I have got NO KEY to enter my room .. So I call up Thaslim (my colleague .. stays near my building .. My room’s spare key is with him ) and ask him where he is .. He says .. Just near DY Patil .. So I drive to DY Patil and finds Thaslim walking near the bus stand .. He says “Bahut lucky hai tu .. Main Pune se aa raha hoon .. Kal aane wala tha lekin plan change ho gaya ” ..
• Being stranded on a train : Yeah .. It could happen to you .. I am coming back from my home and expected to join the office on Saturday morning .. And some goods train gets derailed .. So our train driver decides to take a Bharat Darshan tour .. Out train is now going to Nagpur instead of Bombay .. And finally when I reach Bombay, Its Saturdy midnight and I’ve endured a LONG hot day in the train .. Eating junk food and drinking cold drinks worth around hundred rupeee ..
• The Urgent Memo : While I was on train during the above misadventure, I recieve an email .. The subject says “Urgent Memo” and is sent by my Admin officer.. So I download it and when I read it, the content was “Kindly do not sit on the tables.. Sufficient chairs have been provied” .. It turns out there was a “discussion” while I was not in office about people sitting on tables ..
• Getting chased by Pandu the Hawaldar : Ah .. Riding a bike with a different state’s number plate ? This was bound to happen .. First lemme recall another incident : There I was .. Going to office and standing at the traffice light minding my own business and this Traffice constable comes attracted by my bike’s number plate. (This guy thought it was a Mumbai number while it was an MP number .. .. Bombay = MH04 , Bpl = MP04 ).. So he comes and asks me for documents .. I show him driving license, vehicle registration (which he didnt see anyway) .. Then he asks where’s PUC .. (PUC is actually some certificate for pollution generated by your vehicle) I tell him this is a new bike so no PUC is required .. He says no no .. “Yeh Mumbai ki gaari hai .. Idher chalane ke liye PUC lena parega” .. Guess he meant NOC .. I was wondering htf he thought it was “Mumbai ki gaari” .. Anyways I tell him its not with me, I left it at my home .. “Challaan lagega phir to .. ” .. So I try to negotiate and tell him (showing my ID card ) I work for SBI and I am in real hurry to reach my office and he says no no .. “Challan to bharna parega ” and all .. So after more negotiations I ask him he’ll reconsider and take out my wallet . He says .. “Paisa waisa mat dikhaao humain .. ” (I had a lot of money in that wallet.. fortunately he didnt see .. ) And after some sweet talk, he let me go after taking 50 Rs .. After taking the money he says “Student hona tum ..? Isliye chhor raha hoon … ” I said yes yes .. I am student … College ja raha hoon .. And on another day, I am in real hurry to reach office, I jump the traffice light .. Only to find out three constables standing on the turn .. Crap .. One of them saw my jumping the light so he tries to block the road with his stick .. I aint getting stopped .. So I keep speeding and this guy is running after me .. Hahahhaha .. Man what a scene that was .. So after running for some time, he let go and yelled some “Hut saala .. ” at me .. I too yelled at him “Bhag saale .. ” I was wondering if he noted my bike’s number .. … Anyway .. So for the next week I took a different route for office .. Now I am back on the highway and extra cautious ..

Well .. Those were *some* of the incidents that happened .. In fact a lot of things happend this year which I didnt write in my diary .. But all in all .. Another year has passed .. And it will never come back again .. I wonder what I’ll feel after some years reading these posts .. Maybe I’ll be happier then ..

So long .. ..

1: Yelp! Someone stole my crap ! : Imagine people going to Police Station for complaining that someone has stolen their litter box .. “It was about seven kilo in weight and smelled pretty bad .. It was in a black plastic bag ” .. “Btw .. What are you hiding ??? That looks like my piece of crap !!” .. To which the policewallah will sheepishly tell the man that this was his own crap collected from a rave party at his home last night …

2: Everything is crap … ! : People will start selling everything they have no use to BMC .. People will start bringing work to their homes and sell them to BMC babus in the morning .. I can almost imagine little Chunnu proudly telling his mother “Ma .. I earned twelve rupees today by selling my school bag ! “…

3: My crap is better than yours ! : People will start competing in the quality of their crap .. Those selling big packets of kachra will have more recognition (they are keeping the city cleaner) .. Saas bahus will gossip about how much crap their next door neighbor is collecting these days ..

4: A new breed of entrepreneurs : Soon a new surname will join the Cablewallah, Tyrewallahs .. : Kachrawallah .. People will start importing and exporting kachra from Bombay .. Boy ! Thats a nice new opening ..!

5: A new source of income : You’ll have to declare how much you earn from selling your kachra .. It will be added under the head Income from other sources in your Saral form ..Govt will start taxing those who sells too much kachra .. !

… … …….

I have some more world destructive ideas in my head but I dont want to voice them .. See I am in a very crappy mood right now .. Where the crap is my litter box .. I need to weigh it ..

</crap>

India will host its first Formula One race, in 2009, the Indian Olympic Association said Thursday. A deal has been signed with the sport’s commercial supremo Bernie Ecclestone to hold the race in the capital New Delhi, IOA president Suresh Kalmadi said.

“We have received a letter in this regard from Bernie Ecclestone, CEO of Formula One,” Kalmadi told reporters. “The IOA will be the promoter, the first event of which will be held in 2009.”

Ecclestone has said in the past year that India was one of the future markets for motor sport after India’s Narain Karthikeyan drove for Jordan in the 2005 season. “India is a country that is probably going to grow quicker than China,” Ecclestone said in London in November.

The IOA will build a F1 track and a brand new stadium in New Delhi in time to hold the race, Kalmadi said. New Delhi is also due to host the Commonwealth Games in 2010.

Source

Great news ..!! I hope they build a track like Monaco .. Street racing will be sooo cool.. And I hope we have a good driver to represent India in the race by then .. There arent many promising candidates though ..

… .. I am so excited ..

After some time, a new character will enter the show as Tulsi. Disbelief and confusion will reign, later everyone will know that Tulsi had undergone a plastic surgery after the accident. Supposedly Gautami Kapoor has been finalized as the new Tulsi.

Star Plus have also organized an opinion poll on who is gonna replace Smriti Irani in KSBKT .. The choices are Padmini Kolhapuri (porn star of yesteryears .. then featured in some great movies like “Woh Saat Din” ) .. or someone called Gautami Kapoor ( duh .. I dont watch much TV so I dunno if she’s a tv actress or something ..) .. Whack …

Yesterday I got a nightmare that Smriti Irani after leaving Saas bhi kabhi bahu thi is gonna make a show called “Kyunki bahu bhi kabhi saas hogi” and will air it on Sony clashing the time with KSBKBT … Man what this information and broadcast ministry people are doing ..? Banning FTV and AXN which are nice eye candy channels but not banning this BS programs which are mental torture ..

Yaawn .. Why did I even write this post ..? I hate soap operas .. :-w

Soooo… Have I started writing movie reviews too ..?? Naah … Just wanted to write this one .. (am in some mood today .. ) ..

I’ve never been a big fan of Spiderman .. But this movie interested me because of its tagline “The greatest battle lies … within”  ..  The plot seemed so Spiderman will battle with his alter ego this time .. And then there was Venom .. I am sure people read / watch superheroes because of their villains .. Venom is the best (or worst) villain that Spiderman has got .. so all this made Spiderman 3 a must watch for me and I decided to inaugrate the new Adlabs opened in Palm Beach Galleria here ..

Now to the movie .. The movie opens nicely and has some very good special effects .. The story starts swiftly but starts to drag when our Peter Parker does a la Anakin Skywalker and turns to the dark side.. Some forty five minutes of the movie are very boring and pointless but there are some funny moments too .. I loved the scene where J J Jameson is reminded about his blood pressure .. .. And then there is this french restaurant scene .. that was great .. Actions scenes are the strongest point of this movie .. So you should watch this movie for some great action scenes and some funny moments …

Umm.. rating ..? Around 3 out of 5 ..

     So necessity is the mother in law of plagiarism ( Heheh … that was a good one ) .. I wanted to goto Lamington road to get some computer parts .. But Lamington road is so far from here as Andaman n Nicobar are far from New Delhi .. Some desperate calls to my longtime friend Ashish yeilded some results but that included changing trains or taking train to CST and then coming back by bus .. So much for a lazy brat like me ..

   While this was happening I remembered about a link that was stored in my bookmarks since ages .. Some good guys at IIT Bombay had created a database of train and bus information on Mumbai .. Though it was outdated, I decided to give it a chance .. So I opened the page and while I was reading about the authors, I found that they’ve updated the software and added a map to it also ..

    So with Mumbai Navigator , you can need to put Origin and Destination, and it will tell you how to get there showing possible routes which included train and buses. The database has extensive data on locations across Mumbai. And in the new Navigator2, a map will be visible alongside the area you chose. The interface is very simple and easy to use.. So I put Nerul as origin and Grant road as destination and it gave me two routes to go through … Total time of journey : 1 hour 45 minutes .. sucks …

     Mumbai Navigator is very useful if you know that Lamington road is actually near Grant road .. but if you dont know where the you have to go .. then another site, may help you here .. It is Mumbai’s Worst Transport service .. (or is it BEST transport service .. whatever) .. Here you can search for area (here the location list is very detailed so you can find out easily) .. Or if you know the bus number, you can find out where it goes .. or whether it will go where you wanna go ..

    So using a combination of both these services, you can find out how to reach somewhere in Mumbai easily .. Both of these have helped me on several occasions and I hope they’ll be useful to you also .. Ciaoo ..

Mumbai Navigator 2

Best Undertaking

          There are quite a few things that make this season interesting. The most prominent being absence of Michael Schumacher who announced his retirement last season. While Schumacher fans will say this the thing that will make F1 uninteresting, I’ll say it will bring some competition to the game ( it was sooo dominated by Schumacher earlier ). So who’s gonna take Schumacher’s crown now ..?

        The other thing the commentators were jabbering about all the time was that this will be the final season with the existing Concorde Agreement. The GPMA may consider to opt out of F1 and start a rival series or something if differences between them and Bernie are not sorted out.  

       Fernando Alonso left Renault to join McLaren and Kimi Raikkonen switched to Ferrari from McLaren. And one of the most hyped persons (seems rightly so ) , Lewis Hamilton joined McLaren and by his performance in Australian Grand Prix it looks like he’s got some very good prospects. One Heikki Kovalain replaced Fernando Alonso in Renault.

      So equations have changed and we’ll see if Ferrari can regain their space again this time with a new car F2007 and Kimi Raikkonen on the helm. Another car I’ll like to quote is Honda’s RA107  aka Earth Car which will run without any advertisements on it ( people say thats because they didnt get any advertisors ). You can have your name printed on it if you donate some money ( 1 UK Pound or more ) to myearth dream trust.

     So… Lets see how F1 comes up without Schumacher and switched drivers. See you in Malasian Grand Prix .. Look out for Hamilton and Sato .. !