I Hate You All …

I know writing your comeback script with a title like that can be a risky business but I wanted to give credit to people who bugged me so much that they broke my blogger’s block .. So I’m gonna talk about people who bang my door every now and then .. Here we go then .. :

  • My Newspaperwallah : Boy, I hate you already when you deliver the paper late (or not at all) but why do you effing have to announce that you’ve dropped the paper by ringing the doorbell ? I really hate getting up in morning to answer the bell to find there’s no soul outside .. My neighbors don’t steal newspaper if you must know …
  • Kachrewali : (I don’t even know if she can even read Hindi / Marathi let alone English .. But for whatever its worth… ) … I don’t understand why do you think I generate enough crap everyday so that you can collect daily … I don’t understand why you look so disappointed when I tell you there’s nothing in the dust bin .. I don’t understand why you don’t show up when I DO put that dust bin in front of my door …
  • “Ghar main paanch saal se kam ka bachcha hai kya?” waali’s: I really don’t understand why do you have to come and check every month to find out if I did get a baby miraculously when I already told you last month ..? I know some of you girls might wanna help but have I ever asked any of you “Come on inside and we’ll see what can be done about it”
  • Feedback wallahs : I only have this feedback : If I don’t use your service doesn’t it mean it sucks already .. and if I do use your service : Dude .. Do something about it … It sucks … 👿
  • Cablewallah : How come the only time that I get to know of your existence is when you come to collect the monthly bill and not when I complain about your pathetic set top box from hell on an average of ten times a month …?
  • Telephonewallah: Well .. I don’t hate you that much anymore .. Not ever since when I fixed my telephone line myself and told you when you did show up on time .. And when I lodged the complain next time and you did show up (after a week) and said “Maine socha aapne khud hi theek kar liya hoga ab tak” … Grrr
  • “Saamnewala ghar par hai kya?” wallahs : Moron … If he was home wouldn’t he answer your crappy banging-his-door-for-ten-minutes ..?? I really wonder if the saamnewala has to endure the same pain …
  • “Papa ghar par hain kya ?” wallahs : Do I really look this young ..?? I really hate it people think its my dad who works in SBI and not me …
  • Whoever comes knocking when I am shaving / taking bath / you know what …
  • Towing wallahs : I remember we use to call them in Tonche wallahs … Though you people dont come to my home but added you to this list anyway … I really hate worrying about my ride when I’m shopping or visiting someone …

Hmmm… It looks this can go on and on … I am gonna take a print out of this page and stick it on my door and see if works …

PS: I really think I can start writing more often now … So keep bugging me if I dont blog often … 🙂

My Two Pence of Change

So we are hearing a lot about change these days .. I decided to contribute some to this global change we are witnessing ..
Two Pence of Change
Two Pence of Change

 

So instead of becoming another Abdullah deewana in begaani shadi, better start something constructive ..
And no .. This doenst mean you start creating another strip like I did .. Though I wont call this a start .. I dunno if I’d really post more strips .. I cant draw .. and copy pasting in IrfanView and Paint is a nightmare ..

The bubble that burst

Here is nice read I found somewhere on the net describing the current economic scenario. Read it even if you dont know crap about markets :

Once there was a little island country. The land of this country was the tiny island itself. The total money in circulation was 2 dollars as there were only two pieces of 1 dollar coins circulating around.

(1) There were 3 citizens living on this island country. A owned the land. B and C each owned 1 dollar.

(2) B decided to purchase the land from A for 1 dollar. So, now A and C own 1 dollar each while B ownes a piece of land that is worth 1 dollar.

* The net asset of the country now = 3 dollars.

(3) Now C thought that since there is only one piece of land in the country, and land is non producible asset, its value must definitely go up. So, he borrowed 1 dollar from A, and together with his own 1 dollar, he bought the land from B for 2 dollars.

* A has a loan to C of 1 dollar, so his net asset is 1 dollar.
* B sold his land and got 2 dollars, so his net asset is 2 dollars.
* C owned the piece of land worth 2 dollars but with his 1 dollar debt to A, his net residual asset is 1 dollar.
* Thus, the net asset of the country = 4 dollars.

(4) A saw that the land he once owned has risen in value. He regretted having sold it. Luckily, he has a 1 dollar loan to C. He then borrowed 2 dollars from B and acquired the land back from C for 3 dollars. The payment is by 2 dollars cash (which he borrowed) and cancellation of the 1 dollar loan to C. As a result, A now ownes a piece of land that is worth 3 dollars. But since he owes B 2 dollars, his net asset is 1 dollar.

* B loaned 2 dollars to A. So his net asset is 2 dollars.
* C now has the 2 coins. His net asset is also 2 dollars.
* The net asset of the country = 5 dollars. A bubble is building up. Continue reading “The bubble that burst”

The Happiest Days of Our Lives

Spoiler : Well .. The title has got nothing much to do with the content of this post. Its just the song that I was listening to while writing this post and wondering if it did have something to do with the post .. Another spoiler: Most people wont know what I am talking about 😛  .. Whatever ..

So I am remembering the unusually rainy day when I arrived this place dreamy eyed two years ago. As I’ve already blogged about my adventures in the year to follow, I’ve decided to recall and post some incidents that happened this year ..

So here are some notable incidents that happened this year :

  • Being scolded for coming late : Hahhaaa .. Man .. I tried defending my case by saying I stay late at office but my DGM says “Officers are on 24 hour on duty ” .. Someone tell him insomniacs cant reach office at seven .. They SLEEP at seven .. 😐
  • SBI winning over TCS : So this was the first year that SBI turned the table and won more matches in this season. We in fact won a tourament too this time ( I wasnt playing though and it was NOT the cause we won 😀 ) .. My performance was just so so this season .. But I’m playing well in our local matches ..
  • I cleared JAAIB : Hahaahaha .. Thats not the news .. News is while I was taking this CAIIB exam, I was warned by the invigilator not to create a ruckus in classroom. He took my admit card and ID card away and I’ve no idea if he had reported me to IIBF .. If he’s done that my chances of being a CAIIB this year are gone .. I hope IIBF dont ban me or something … :(( Continue reading “The Happiest Days of Our Lives”

New way to earn from home : Sell your crap ..!

And I am not very excited about it… Imagine opening up the newspaper when you get up at 11 in the morning (yes MORNING) and reading such a headline.. It turns out chairman of some committee, Mr. R Waikar has put up a proposal that says BMC will start buying all your crap from you. BMC will pay Twenty Five paise per kilo of the kachra collected from you .. “All this to try and stop you from dumping the waste carelessly and thus dirtying the city” .. All through my breakfast I was thinking about what will be the consequences if people started trading their crap .. Here are some of my pennyless thoughts .. :

1: Yelp! Someone stole my crap ! : Imagine people going to Police Station for complaining that someone has stolen their litter box .. “It was about seven kilo in weight and smelled pretty bad .. It was in a black plastic bag ” .. “Btw .. What are you hiding ??? That looks like my piece of crap !!” .. To which the policewallah will sheepishly tell the man that this was his own crap collected from a rave party at his home last night …

2: Everything is crap … ! : People will start selling everything they have no use to BMC .. People will start bringing work to their homes and sell them to BMC babus in the morning .. I can almost imagine little Chunnu proudly telling his mother “Ma .. I earned twelve rupees today by selling my school bag ! “…

3: My crap is better than yours ! : People will start competing in the quality of their crap .. Those selling big packets of kachra will have more recognition (they are keeping the city cleaner) .. Saas bahus will gossip about how much crap their next door neighbor is collecting these days ..

4: A new breed of entrepreneurs : Soon a new surname will join the Cablewallah, Tyrewallahs .. : Kachrawallah .. People will start importing and exporting kachra from Bombay .. Boy ! Thats a nice new opening ..!

5: A new source of income : You’ll have to declare how much you earn from selling your kachra .. It will be added under the head Income from other sources in your Saral form ..Govt will start taxing those who sells too much kachra .. !

… … …….

I have some more world destructive ideas in my head but I dont want to voice them .. See I am in a very crappy mood right now .. Where the crap is my litter box .. I need to weigh it ..

</crap>

New Delhi to Host Formula One Race in 2009

This just in  .. !

India will host its first Formula One race, in 2009, the Indian Olympic Association said Thursday. A deal has been signed with the sport’s commercial supremo Bernie Ecclestone to hold the race in the capital New Delhi, IOA president Suresh Kalmadi said.

“We have received a letter in this regard from Bernie Ecclestone, CEO of Formula One,” Kalmadi told reporters. “The IOA will be the promoter, the first event of which will be held in 2009.”

Ecclestone has said in the past year that India was one of the future markets for motor sport after India’s Narain Karthikeyan drove for Jordan in the 2005 season. “India is a country that is probably going to grow quicker than China,” Ecclestone said in London in November.

The IOA will build a F1 track and a brand new stadium in New Delhi in time to hold the race, Kalmadi said. New Delhi is also due to host the Commonwealth Games in 2010.

Source

Great news ..!! I hope they build a track like Monaco .. Street racing will be sooo cool.. And I hope we have a good driver to represent India in the race by then .. There arent many promising candidates though ..

… .. I am so excited .. 😀