I Hate You All …

I know writing your comeback script with a title like that can be a risky business but I wanted to give credit to people who bugged me so much that they broke my blogger’s block .. So I’m gonna talk about people who bang my door every now and then .. Here we go then .. :

  • My Newspaperwallah : Boy, I hate you already when you deliver the paper late (or not at all) but why do you effing have to announce that you’ve dropped the paper by ringing the doorbell ? I really hate getting up in morning to answer the bell to find there’s no soul outside .. My neighbors don’t steal newspaper if you must know …
  • Kachrewali : (I don’t even know if she can even read Hindi / Marathi let alone English .. But for whatever its worth… ) … I don’t understand why do you think I generate enough crap everyday so that you can collect daily … I don’t understand why you look so disappointed when I tell you there’s nothing in the dust bin .. I don’t understand why you don’t show up when I DO put that dust bin in front of my door …
  • “Ghar main paanch saal se kam ka bachcha hai kya?” waali’s: I really don’t understand why do you have to come and check every month to find out if I did get a baby miraculously when I already told you last month ..? I know some of you girls might wanna help but have I ever asked any of you “Come on inside and we’ll see what can be done about it”
  • Feedback wallahs : I only have this feedback : If I don’t use your service doesn’t it mean it sucks already .. and if I do use your service : Dude .. Do something about it … It sucks … 👿
  • Cablewallah : How come the only time that I get to know of your existence is when you come to collect the monthly bill and not when I complain about your pathetic set top box from hell on an average of ten times a month …?
  • Telephonewallah: Well .. I don’t hate you that much anymore .. Not ever since when I fixed my telephone line myself and told you when you did show up on time .. And when I lodged the complain next time and you did show up (after a week) and said “Maine socha aapne khud hi theek kar liya hoga ab tak” … Grrr
  • “Saamnewala ghar par hai kya?” wallahs : Moron … If he was home wouldn’t he answer your crappy banging-his-door-for-ten-minutes ..?? I really wonder if the saamnewala has to endure the same pain …
  • “Papa ghar par hain kya ?” wallahs : Do I really look this young ..?? I really hate it people think its my dad who works in SBI and not me …
  • Whoever comes knocking when I am shaving / taking bath / you know what …
  • Towing wallahs : I remember we use to call them in Tonche wallahs … Though you people dont come to my home but added you to this list anyway … I really hate worrying about my ride when I’m shopping or visiting someone …

Hmmm… It looks this can go on and on … I am gonna take a print out of this page and stick it on my door and see if works …

PS: I really think I can start writing more often now … So keep bugging me if I dont blog often … 🙂

The Happiest Days of Our Lives

Spoiler : Well .. The title has got nothing much to do with the content of this post. Its just the song that I was listening to while writing this post and wondering if it did have something to do with the post .. Another spoiler: Most people wont know what I am talking about 😛  .. Whatever ..

So I am remembering the unusually rainy day when I arrived this place dreamy eyed two years ago. As I’ve already blogged about my adventures in the year to follow, I’ve decided to recall and post some incidents that happened this year ..

So here are some notable incidents that happened this year :

  • Being scolded for coming late : Hahhaaa .. Man .. I tried defending my case by saying I stay late at office but my DGM says “Officers are on 24 hour on duty ” .. Someone tell him insomniacs cant reach office at seven .. They SLEEP at seven .. 😐
  • SBI winning over TCS : So this was the first year that SBI turned the table and won more matches in this season. We in fact won a tourament too this time ( I wasnt playing though and it was NOT the cause we won 😀 ) .. My performance was just so so this season .. But I’m playing well in our local matches ..
  • I cleared JAAIB : Hahaahaha .. Thats not the news .. News is while I was taking this CAIIB exam, I was warned by the invigilator not to create a ruckus in classroom. He took my admit card and ID card away and I’ve no idea if he had reported me to IIBF .. If he’s done that my chances of being a CAIIB this year are gone .. I hope IIBF dont ban me or something … :(( Continue reading “The Happiest Days of Our Lives”

New way to earn from home : Sell your crap ..!

And I am not very excited about it… Imagine opening up the newspaper when you get up at 11 in the morning (yes MORNING) and reading such a headline.. It turns out chairman of some committee, Mr. R Waikar has put up a proposal that says BMC will start buying all your crap from you. BMC will pay Twenty Five paise per kilo of the kachra collected from you .. “All this to try and stop you from dumping the waste carelessly and thus dirtying the city” .. All through my breakfast I was thinking about what will be the consequences if people started trading their crap .. Here are some of my pennyless thoughts .. :

1: Yelp! Someone stole my crap ! : Imagine people going to Police Station for complaining that someone has stolen their litter box .. “It was about seven kilo in weight and smelled pretty bad .. It was in a black plastic bag ” .. “Btw .. What are you hiding ??? That looks like my piece of crap !!” .. To which the policewallah will sheepishly tell the man that this was his own crap collected from a rave party at his home last night …

2: Everything is crap … ! : People will start selling everything they have no use to BMC .. People will start bringing work to their homes and sell them to BMC babus in the morning .. I can almost imagine little Chunnu proudly telling his mother “Ma .. I earned twelve rupees today by selling my school bag ! “…

3: My crap is better than yours ! : People will start competing in the quality of their crap .. Those selling big packets of kachra will have more recognition (they are keeping the city cleaner) .. Saas bahus will gossip about how much crap their next door neighbor is collecting these days ..

4: A new breed of entrepreneurs : Soon a new surname will join the Cablewallah, Tyrewallahs .. : Kachrawallah .. People will start importing and exporting kachra from Bombay .. Boy ! Thats a nice new opening ..!

5: A new source of income : You’ll have to declare how much you earn from selling your kachra .. It will be added under the head Income from other sources in your Saral form ..Govt will start taxing those who sells too much kachra .. !

… … …….

I have some more world destructive ideas in my head but I dont want to voice them .. See I am in a very crappy mood right now .. Where the crap is my litter box .. I need to weigh it ..

</crap>

But it Rained

It was giving signs all day long .. and by the time I reached office, it started pouring .. No matter.. I said to myself . .. it will be over soon .. I didnt know.

Time to get back to home .. My boss has already left and people who came late brought equipments to deal with the rains .. I didnt have rain coat . .. nor umbrella .. Umbrella is pointless though as you cant use it while you drive .. At around nine in the night, the rain’s intensity looks diminishing … it will be over soon .. I said to myself yet again … I didnt know ..

At around ten in the night, I decide to take the plunge .. Those are little droplets, I’ll reach home in no time .. So I try my luck at praying .. “Oh God .. Please stop the rain for just five minutes ..” and starts from my office.. No luck .. it kept raining .. and after only a minute of drive, I stop at a chai dhaba .. I’ll wait here and soon it will be over .. So drinking hot chai and watching water leaking from all corners of the dhaba shade .. and listening to Lata Mangeshkar “Chalte chalte yunhi koi mil gaya tha” on the radio .. Welcome change from Atif Aslam whom I am listening to very much these days .. All this environment makes me nostalgic .. So I brace myself again and start again towards my home …

At first I close my eyes when the rain drops hits my face .. then I began to enjoy the feeling .. I’ve always loved rains but after I spending my last year in Mumbai’s rain, all the romance was lost .. Anyway .. earlier I was driving fast .. then I started driving slow .. there is nothing that can match driving in rains .. Raindrops entering your eyes ..dodging the splash of water / mud from the car you are trying to over take .. hitting brakes too hard .. singing (yelling) on the top of your voice .. How come rains make people crazy …?

I am shivering when I reach the building .. Smiled when I see neighbor girl giggling at me .. Warm my frozen hands on the gas burner for at least five minutes (or was it ten ) .. Check my phone line .. whoa its not dead .. check the internet connection .. whoa .. its up too .. Great …!! Listen to November Rain for some five times .. writing this post and watching rain drops from the window .. ..

Its official raining in Bombay …

So its been a year ..

Warning: This post can be a monologue. ..

The opening lines of every post are the most difficult ones to think .. How to write something that the reader will find interesting and captures the theme of the entry .. ? Well .. For this particular post, I couldnt think of any such opening so here it goes ..

It all started a year ago when I arrived in this city of dreams called Bombay ( I still call it Bombay) with many dreams and even more hopes in my heart… It was raining heavily and I was all wet when I somehow managed to find out the SBI guest house (where my friend Nisheet had already booked a room) .. We chatted about how our next day which was going to be our reporting to the job was going to be and how life would be after that ..

The next day was even more interesting .. We found out that we’ll be posted for the rest of our service in Bombay itself (or if you are lucky you’ll get a foreign posting afterwards .. ) .. We were allotted departments and roles… We had our first lunch in the Officer’s mess (why is it called Officer’s Mess ? ) and then went to our respective departments for introductions and all .. I still remember one of my senior told us “Now with what qualifications or experience you have come with doesnt matter ..What you can give to the bank will matter the most .. ” I still believe in those words .. Anyway .. too many things happened in the first day and I cant write all of them here .. We were given temporary accomodation in guest house till our flats were ready .. (Getting listed in guest house was another great experience) ..

So .. I moved into a new room in guest house and it turned out it was to be shared with three more guys .. Three guys literally from three corners of India .. Man those guest house days were some very well spent days of my life .. As I stroll down memory lane, I remember listening to FM and chatting till late night .. Learning Malayalam .. or Manipuri .. 😀 .. Having dinner together .. Racing in morning to get the bathroom .. Getting others late for office ..:D .. Sleeping in boring training sessions .. Waiting for the rains to stop which poured as if its the end of world ..

Earlier days were spent in shock and awe .. Being so far from family and friends was a new experience for me (and a very tough one).. Slowly official work started to fill this void. .. Earlier it was feeling important .. than feeling responsible .. sometimes feeling exhausted .. Then I got my first salary .. Earning money was not a new thing for me but now I had to manage my living all by myself .. Seems I am doing pretty good … A major part of our salary used to goto mobile bills .. And eating those horrible food at mess .. And as you are expected to work at office, chat protocols were blocked and most timepass websites were also blocked .. So that ended my Orkut addiction .. Finding out proxy sites to bypass the restrictions and finding out new new ways to access blocked site ..  It was nice experimenting with our newly found independence ..

So this year brought many ups and downs in my life .. It highlights again that life is a constant learning process .. and I am still learning .. and I am still coping .. I’ve made so many friends here and who made living here all alone a bit easier for me .. Thanks to everyone just for being there for me ..